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Saturday, July 31, 2004
can't we even keep our promise
why do we always have to prove other ppl right. disappoint them. change is a unchangeable fact, but does tt apply to character? to adapt to the environment and not to change with it, is it not? the way things turn out are just too much, too fast, nearly impossible. why must it be like that? no one can answer. how to stop? no one can. who will benefit? no one would. i want to help. i feel small and helpless. would you help urself? it's hard, you don't see the situation. i want to stop it. i really want. but yet, i can't. i really love and like all of you. but ppl are suffering. can u all understand? z. meow! ((: // at 2:07 PM.
Monday, July 19, 2004
x i feel an emptiness inside
A part of me already died When I pretended to go on Like everything's okay Then all we built began to fall As I began to lose it all I shut my eyes to set me free ' Cause I was scared to see That we weren't who we used to be x -jiayu. when i did realise it was love the world changed when you were saying you loved me holding my hand when i was thinking of you it was love the sky cleared when i raised my head you were indeed right in front -ens. i didnt cry :)) haha. heartless pple like me. wells. :) anyways. i still dont think my post (dont say it out.) suits me at all. :/ it sounds niang lorr. :// hruph. how abt mascot? it sounds so much nicer and cuter. instead of ____________. ahha good la. :) wells. i think we are qt efficient. :)) hahah. proudda us :) and altho msn totally conked out and i hadda to re-type everything, i still finshed it. :) ahhha. yays. :)) meow! ((: // at 6:54 PM.
take my hand.
tell me you'll still be by my side. no matter what happens i know you'll be in heart and i hope i will be in yours too. we're leaving each other separating. it hurts. yes i know it does. but we have to move on, we cant stay rooted to that spot. our footprints on that path will always remain there. imprinted so deeply that be it a storm or a flood, a hurrricane or a cyclone, and earthquake or a volcanic eruption, a snowstorm or a hailstorm, lightning or a thunderstorm-- those footprints of the many times we walked together will always remain there. here in my heart. those prints. those words you said. the stuff you did. the sacrifices you made. the pain you endured. the disappiontment you felt. the exhilaration you jumped with. the excitement you spread. the enthusiasm you showed. the smiles you lighted. those tears you cried. each and every move you made each and every word you said. they are all here. want to see it? open my heart. search it in the deepest areas. you'll find, its the stuff that makes up the core. :)) dont cry. you're still here. right here in me. -annameowcatkitty. :)) meow! ((: // at 6:37 PM.
im sorry.
i know this is a little behind time. but i still want to say... err. wot zoe and enen have said. it was all of you who made our sj lives so special. so filled with life and vigour and fun. you helped us to grow, to mature and to change into somebody we never thought we could become. (in the positive sense la). it was you who taught us whatever we needed to know. you were always there for us when we in doubt or in trouble. althought we were quite impossibly irritating but you still patiently put up with us and still groomed us. we owe everthing we know to you. (and our marverlous brains :/). we wouldnt be here without you. any one of you. yes. is that all? err. not really. but its hard to say and besides zoe and enen have alrdy said most of wot i feel. im sure most of us feel the same. :)) we're all sadd to see you leave us. but memories will always be left behind. memories are part of someone. so. you are kindda a part of me. and you will always be. i hope we dont forget. and i will miss you. meow! ((: // at 6:37 PM.
Sunday, July 18, 2004
i din want to see them leave.
but i have to. now, part of me is feeling empty. i woke up this morning, to the fact that i din want to accept. i will learn to overcome it, slowly adapt to it. I will never forget what each and every one of you did for me, for my sqd. I will never forget u all. Sec. 4 sqd 2004. The squad that walked with my squad for three years. You all are the best seniors that anyone could have. THANK YOU! I will love u all deep down my heart. This is dedicated to my everdearesr Jie, my sec.3 Nco 2004. thank you for all that you have done. thanks for the blog. you left ur print in me. i love you as much as you do. ANGEL. meow! ((: // at 8:44 PM.
Friday, July 16, 2004
what have i done to deserve this.
i really dunno where i went wrong, what did i do, to cause a 360 degree change. why don't you tell me and let me know. tell me my mistakes. i don't want to live in the world where whatever i do is wrong, get criticised. i want to change for the better, but how can i. letting loose on the rope and holding on tightly to the other black rope. here i am holding on tightly on the rope, not wanting to pick up the black rope that you hold so tightly. is there no chances for us to turn back, be the same again. have you given up? i telling, trying to convince myself you have not. but you seem to already have. i don't understand. i really don't. my hopes are fading. i want things to return to the way they were. is it impossible? i don't know. z. meow! ((: // at 9:22 PM.
Wednesday, July 14, 2004
we really lack communication.
i don't understand you and always misinterpret. i don't want things to turn out this way, but it has. i dunno how to salvage it. i'm afraid. i don't like the feeling of awkwardness between us, but i don't know how to slove it. pls. tell me what to do. is my fault. i'm sorry. i shouldn't never have taken up this responsibility, but now, there is no way i can turn back time. i hope you would understand, but i really doubted it. i dun want to lie and convince myself, that it will be ok. things will never be the same again. i feel terrible inside me. i dun like to hide it, but i have to, just because of you i really hope things will be back to normal, how can i hope and wish. i wonder if this will come true. meow! ((: // at 7:52 PM.
Tuesday, July 13, 2004
i still cant believe it.
and you kept it from me. :// meow! ((: // at 6:26 PM.
why?
been feeling like i am living in a horrrid nightmare. or rather, its more of a life-mare. i feel so hidden away from reality. i just couldnt believe it. i almost refused to belive it. i wanted to remain in my self-delusional state. i tried to make up unreal possibilities to stop myself from destroying my near-perfect image of you. i didnt want to let myself down. i didnt want you to let me down. why? why? why? there's no reason at all. you just seemed to have flown away. the you that i respected and liked and loved was smahed into a million pieces. just like that. i cant belive i was that blind. i should have woken up when my alarm rang. sadly, you had to let me see it. i really dont get it. were you like that all the while, or did you just change in a split second? i was so used to you being there, being the one i could always turn to. why did you have to leave? i just dont get it. not at all. i could just let go now. but i know i wouldnt. i probably cant bear to. i cant. and anyway, i wont let you go as easily as you've dropped me. i dont care what you think, but im not giving up. i wont give up. i hope you can see that too. and i hope you'd do the same. cos i dont believe you're gone forever. im just hoping you'll come back. meow! ((: // at 6:01 PM.
Tuesday, July 06, 2004
i'm on a cliff.
on the verge of falling. i'm tempted to let go of everything and just fall, but i dare not and do not wish to. it's a strong temption. Thanks to all who helped me moved further away from the edge. thanks a lot. z. meow! ((: // at 3:50 PM.
Saturday, July 03, 2004
lalala.. went out wif enen,jiayu and sokting after listening. we took neos. all turn out very nicely.. i really liked them alot. thanks ppl.=p meow! ((: // at 9:05 PM.
must there always be reasons for everything that we do?
must we always be reasonable? can we be unreasonable, unrational for some periods of our lives. will we be misunderstood? quite disappointed, upset, perhaps it was due to unrational thinking. hope that things will get better. BUT. We should accept everyone for who they are. We should NEVER try change someone, we CAN only influence. meow! ((: // at 9:03 PM.
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